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Sunday, January 08, 2006

mOprah - Maxim

Dear mOprah,

After reading the last article I had to admit that even as a guy, Maxim and all the other for men magazines have let me down. They claim to have the secret formula for getting and keeping a woman. However, it just hasn’t proven to be that easy. Without having to do 1000 sit-ups a day and changing my wardrobe to become the ultimate metro-male…how do I get the job done.

Yours Truly,

Feeling Maxim-less

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MOprah:

Well Maxim reader you have definitely come to the right place. As your loyal gender defender, I have talked to women across the land and the secrets are in. I know you’ve been looking for that good recipe like the Colonel’s chicken at KFC. And to tell you the truth this recipe can come in all different shapes and sizes. As the smooth player that I am, I do have to at least say that you must be fashionably comfortable and participate is some personal upkeep. I would say enough not to look like a slob and don’t be surprised that the every now and then a lady takes a look to see how your shoes look (this one I can’t figure out either).
But what you came to find out was what the survey said:

1. Gentlemen – Ladies are still all about some good ole Aretha, yep you got that right RESPECT. They appreciate the gentleman nowadays because I am guessing its been a rarity lately.

2. Strong & Supportive – Now fellas don’t take the first rule completely to the wrong end of the spectrum. Ladies have sounded off and want you to know that they are still looking for a man with a backbone. Just like on the Discovery channel in the wild, females everywhere migrate to the male that offers protection and support. So use this to your advantage and don’t be afraid to slug someone in the bar talking to your date (just kidding).

3. Little Things – Open a few doors, give a girl a jacket when she's cold and don’t be surprised at how many cool points you may rack up.

4. Listen & Communicate – Now I know this one will be tough but just the occasional nod and okay won’t work. Pay attention every now and then to the words coming out of her mouth and try to give a thoughtful response back.

5. Independent – Lastly, make sure you have your act together. The last thing a woman needs is to feel like she’s your second mom. Prove to her that you enjoy spending time with her, but that you can manage on those days that she’s busy with her friends and family. I would not recommend stalking as a positive trait.

Once again mOprah has come through in the clutch.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

mOprah,

How does a guy get woman like the ones we see in all of your pictures???

Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous,

Unfortunately, you may be confusing me with with your blog author JG. I am only called upon to do guest columns and I have not been pictured on this site. But all I can say is it appears that those guys are living life, having fun, and the rest is secondary.

Sincerely,

mOprah - gender defender

Anonymous said...

I don't know where you live but if you live in Indianapolis you would do just fine if you look halfway decent, can carry some type of conversation and hopefully have a car and maybe a home. I've seen men with less and still pulling them in.

My best advice: patience, confidence, good hear, good self-esteem, humor and creativity.

The Oracle of Hyde Park said...

TLL,

Interesting, I would like to hear back from the fellas to see if they feel like these things work.